I haven't forgotten about the mini album photos I plan to post, but more on that soon.
Today, I am writing, I guess to get some thoughts out of my head. This past weekend, I met a guy who I really hit it off with. He said he was even taken aback by how well we hit it off. While it ended up that he wasn't looking for anything at the moment, it got me thinking about things, as I read through blogs on Bloglovin' and see all of the life lessons that those that I follow, go through.
As you may or may not know, I am single, and I'm okay with that. It's nice to feel like you can go anywhere, and do anything at the spur of the moment, without having to weigh the decision of another person. But the thing that got me thinking is how this guy, who told me after the fact, that he mentioned he was only looking for new friends, came to pick me up. Being a the type of girl who doesn't let anyone get close to me, this is where I went wrong. I should have just met him there.When he came to pick me up, I had just finished fixing my hair, but had no makeup on. I let him come in and he sat on my bed, while I finished getting ready.
Now that everything is said and done, I am thinking about all the reasons why this man is so undeserving of my time. I wonder what it must have been like for him to sit on my bed, scanning over all of the scrapbook supplies, mini albums, stuffed animals, and decorations in my room, I wonder what he must have been thinking. I try to put myself in his shoes, sitting there, and wonder if it was too much for him to handle and if he felt overwhelmed in that moment. I think about how much I've created, and how if I were him, I would be happy to have someone that creative, and as thoughtful as I am. It is thinking through these thoughts that I realize several things:
Whoever is supposed to be with me is going to be someone who really appreciates the time I take to make such gifts. And thought I was extremely crushed at the thought of hitting it off with him as well as I did, and still having to accept that he refused to even give me a chance, I think it's a blessing in disguise. Over the last couple days, I've also accepted that if he was someone worth giving my time to, he would have given me a chance even if he wasn't looking for something at the moment. I am a true believer that God (or life) throws things in your way, that you wouldn't normally expect to show up. And that sometimes, if you don't those unexpected things, you could end up regretting it.The person I'm suppose to be with is going to be someone who also realizes that.
I am lately telling myself that I deserve much better than to be with someone who a): doesn't know what they want, and b:) I have to convince to give me a chance. At the end of the day, I have a lot of things going for myself including taking on the weight of attending two colleges for a Bachelor's Degree, and even volunteering with various charitable associations. I am already a force to reckon with, and one day, I'll find someone who is equally the same. I guess if you believe that life is filled with lessons, this is just one more to add to my experiences. In the end, I suppose i am grateful to have dodged a bullet (of sorts), and even more grateful that this helped me to realize the qualities in what I want and what I don't want in a man. Until I find it, I'll just keep finding my own adventure, one "spur of the moment", at a time...
